THE REAL REASON YOU’RE ALWAYS PROCRASTINATING – AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

*hint – it has nothing to do with laziness.

In today’s Champagne Diaries letter, we’ll be unpacking resistance.

You know – that sneaky feeling that stops you from consistently showing up for the things that you know are going to move you closer toward your big juicy goals?

Resistance is the kind of energy that can make even the most straightforward task feel like a Herculean feat – you know, kind of like climbing Mount Everest in a pair of stilettos.

So if you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a loop of procrastination, unable to move forward, you’re in the right place because today I’m going to unpack the real reasons why you’re procrastinating, and how to shift gears, reset your energy, and get into momentum again. So grab your coffee and let’s rock ‘n’ roll!

LESSONS FROM THE EMBARRASSING KID AT THE GROCERY STORE

Ever watched a kid that’s been dragged along on a boring mandatory shopping trip with mom?

“I’m tired. This isn’t fun. I want to go home.”

Queue the public tears and tantrums.

The funny thing is, as adults, we think we’ve completely outgrown our tantrums.

The reality is – we’ve just got better at overriding and hiding our true emotions.

We stuff it down so we can be good respectable adults in society because that’s supposedly the right thing to do.

Now here’s the thing…

Resistance can be a really good indicator that one of the lights on the car dashboard is flashing red.

Sometimes resistance shows up as a gentle nudge telling us we need more energy or a little extra pleasure to tackle a task – much like the unhappy kid in the grocery store.

Sometimes our inner child wants to know “What’s in it for me?” before we’re able to get into momentum.

Okay, Susie – if you sit down and send this proposal – we’ll go out for ice cream tequila afterwards. Sound good?

We’re human beings – not robots, and sometimes the long-term payoff of a task (like booking clients from sitting down and sending out proposals) just isn’t enough to get us motivated in the moment.

The fix?

Bribery and corruption.

Or just bribery.

This can look like negotiating with yourself by stacking pleasurable rewards either during the task you need to complete – or scheduling a reward for after you’ve wrapped up.

For example – I didn’t feel like sitting down and writing today’s letter this morning.

So I promised myself that if I could focus for long enough – I’d reward myself with a blueberry baked-oatmeal breakfast.

My inner child is happy because I practically got to eat cake for breakfast (and call it a healthy choice) – and you’re getting to read something that could change your life. (P.S. Hit the chat icon on the bottom right and pop me a message if you’d like the recipe.)

It’s a win-win situation.

So about those proposals…

You could send those proposals out while sitting in a hot tub listening to your favorite music.

You could set a timer, send those proposals out, and then go out to lunch to reward yourself.

Get into the habit of asking yourself: “What do I need to make this task pleasurable enough for me to get into action?”

Forcing yourself to do things to get them done without rewarding yourself and making the task more enjoyable is going to turn you into that unhappy kid in the grocery store in no time.

ENERGY IS EVERYTHING

Let’s face it, our energy levels can sometimes resemble a roller coaster ride. So why do we still set goals that assume that we’re always going to roll out of bed bright-eyed and bushy tailed ready to take on the world every single day of our lives?

You set a goal to wake up at 5 am and chug down a green smoothie before hitting the gym for a 60-minute hardstyle workout.

But you wake up this morning feeling less than ecstatic about this goal because you had too many tequilas at lunch to celebrate sending out those proposals yesterday.

So what do you do?

If you’re like most people, you’re going to hit snooze faster than you can say ‘no thanks.’

This all-or-nothing mentality creates boatloads of resistance along your journey and likely stops you from making consistent progress.

Because if you’re waiting for perfect conditions and energy levels to show up you’re going to be waiting forever.

Instead, what if we lowered our resistance by setting our goals using a sliding scale approach? What if we got to adjust our goal activity based on our energy levels instead?

Again – you’re not a robot.

So if one day you’re feeling like a superhero, go for that hour-long sweaty workout session and green smoothie extravaganza.

On the other hand – if you wake up feeling like today would be a good day to curl up on the couch, eat ice cream and binge-watch Bridgeton on Netflix – then we can choose to scale it back and still make progress.

We could decide that if our goal is to be healthy and fit – on the days when we don’t feel so hot, we could do a 15-minute walk around the block and pick up a strawberry smoothie on the way back home instead.

Remember, consistency beats the all-or-nothing mentality any day – and chances are, a lot of the resistance you’re feeling comes from holding yourself to impossible standards and expecting every day to unfold in a perfect way.

A great question to start to ask is: 

“How am I feeling today?” 

“What am I prepared to do today given the energy I have?” 

Sometimes that’s going to look like a marathon and other times it’s going to look like a stroll to the fridge and back.

Honor your energy.

Remember, you’re not the same person every day so stop setting goals that assume that all variables will stay the same for the rest of your life.

THE VALUES CONUNDRUM

Resistance can also rear its head when our actions don’t align with our values anymore. We’re all evolving beings, and what once felt like a perfect fit might now feel more like wearing skinny jeans after Thanksgiving dinner—they just don’t fit right anymore.

For example, maybe the single child-free version of you had no issue working around the clock to serve your clients.

The activity of serving your clients at weird and wonderful hours wasn’t in conflict with anything you valued and you may have even prioritized the values of being of service or the cashflow you were able to generate through these actions.

But what about after becoming a proud mamma bear?

Why do those same work tasks suddenly feel like pulling teeth?

Because now, they’re encroaching on something you value more – spending time with your kids.

So what do we do about this?

We can either find new strategies that align with our current values, like swapping mayo out for mustard on our sandwich, or we can shake things up by reframing our mindset.

For example, if the goal is to serve your clients – you could get creative by setting some boundaries around your availability. This keeps you in alignment because it protects your business growth but also protects the precious time you spend with your kids.

A shift like this could remove the resistance entirely.

But on the other hand, sometimes we may not be able to make as many tangible changes to the situation at hand as we’d like to – and our next best option then becomes to shift our mindset.

Let me share a story with you to help illustrate just how powerful a single mindset shift can be. I had a client named Tay.

Tay is an incredibly talented brand designer.

Her clients loved her work.

And her business had massive potential for growth. 

But Tay had one teeny tiny little problem.

She could not for the life of her get consistent with showing up for her business.

In unpacking her situation in a private session together, we realized that Tay’s highest value was freedom.

And she had unconsciously associated the idea of committing to a fixed schedule in her business with losing her freedom.

We began to dig a little deeper to find out if this was true.

And in this session, Tay experienced a huge shift.

She realized that not having structure was the real thing taking away her freedom.

She realized that as much as her schedule was ‘free’ without structure she still spent all that free time trapped in a mental prison of worrying about all the tasks she wasn’t doing – instead of enjoying her free time and being present in the moment. 

This shift she experienced in our belief-clearing session meant that she was able to start showing up for her business with so much more ease and effortlessness – because she now perceived showing up for her business in a more structured way as a pathway toward greater freedom.

Structure meant she got things done faster – and getting things done faster meant she had more free time to play. Thanks to this session, structure became the vehicle to get more of what she valued. 

If you’re stuck and you suspect that a conflict of values may be at play, jamming with a coach or practitioner can help you find your groove and unlock the resistance within. Want my support with this? Go ahead and drop me a message with a couple of lines about your situation using the chat icon on the bottom right.

CRUISING PAST YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Ah, the comfort zone — the cozy spot where resistance rarely dares to tread. But when we dare to venture beyond, resistance can rear its head like a giant forehead zit making an appearance on your wedding day. Talk about inconvenient.

The fear of the unknown and the discomfort of uncharted territory can make resistance scream in our ears, “Go back to safety!” But here’s the secret: Growth thrives in discomfort.

There’s so much magic to be found outside our comfort zones – but our systems are wired to keep us alive. Our brains have decided that the best way to do this is to ensure that we stay in predictable familiar situations. Smack bang inside our comfort zones.

As soon as we have an opportunity to creep out of our comfort zones – we rev up our internal resistance as a protective mechanism.

This is why you may feel resistance to sending out that huge juicy premium-priced invoice to your client.

This obviously positive thing can be perceived as inherently negative if it’s taking us outside our comfort zones.

If you’re curious to learn more about this phenomenon, I cover this in an entire article here.

So how do you identify this kind of resistance?

If you’ve worked your way through the other types of resistance you may want to ask yourself:

“Is this activity going to take me out of my comfort zone?”

If the answer is yes – it’s super important to focus on creating a sense of safety within your body as you take the action.

This could be as simple as saying an affirmation like: “It’s safe for me to grow. I trust myself.” and practicing breathwork to regulate your emotional state as you move.

If you need some help with some practices to support you to regulate your emotions on your entrepreneurial journey you’ll love this letter.

IN SUMMARY

It’s important to remember that you’re a human being – not a robot. You’re not always going to feel like showing up to do the work and resistance can be an incredible messenger to point you to how to better meet your needs while you move toward achieving all your bright beautiful goals. To shift gears and get back into ease and flow, it’s important to explore what’s behind your patterns of resistance.

JOURNALING & REFLECTION

Here are some of my favorite reflection questions from today’s topic:

* Have you ever experienced resistance that makes even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming? Reflect on a specific situation where resistance hindered your progress and made you procrastinate. What were the underlying reasons for your resistance in that situation?

* How do you typically respond to resistance? Do you tend to override your true emotions or find ways to hide them? Consider how acknowledging and addressing your resistance could lead to a more productive and fulfilling experience.

* Think about a task or goal that you’ve been procrastinating on. What can you do to make it more pleasurable or rewarding? Brainstorm some ideas for incorporating elements of enjoyment or incentives into the task to overcome resistance and increase motivation.

* Reflect on your approach to goal setting. Do you set rigid expectations for yourself, assuming that you should always have high energy levels and motivation? How can you incorporate a sliding scale approach that aligns with your fluctuating energy levels and allows for flexibility without triggering resistance?

* Consider whether your current actions align with your values. Are there any areas where your actions may conflict with what you truly value? Reflect on possible strategies or mindset shifts that can bring your actions into alignment with your values, reducing resistance and enhancing fulfillment.